Articles

From René V...

Sure, we've chronicled horrible methods of storing data in XML, but what about when you want to retrieve said data? If you're into .NET, you're probably thinking of something in the System.Xml namespace. If you're a Ruby developer, you're probably thinking of REXML. If you're using PHP, the XML Parser extension. If you're a COBOL programmer, then you're probably praying for death.

Originally posted to the Sidebar by "jetcitywoman"...

When Michelle M. started her new job, she feared the worst, but hoped for the best. She'd be maintaing an app that had been around since the 1980s and made an impressive tour of technologies — from Clipper to VB to VB.NET and finally to C#. So I guess she didn't so much fear the worst as expect the worst.

Thanks to a generous anonymous donation, Hudson High (as we'll call it) was finally able to trebuchet themselves into the 21st century. In addition to buying new computers for the teachers and staff, they found a contractor that would build them the ultimate system to maintain every function in the school, top to bottom. After a few months the system was built and deployed.

Lyle was displeased. Despite all he had going for him — being the most handsome guy in the office, the smartest guy on the team, having the best all-terrain tires throughout the whole department, and trouncing the competition in a recent laser tag game, his team didn't seem to work well together.

To think, if Ash had spent infinity hours playing the original EverQuest instead of Warcraft, Ash would be close to level 25 by now.

A few months back, Jen Frickell's company was given some bad news. When their lease ended, they'd have to move out of their second-floor suite. The good news, however, was that a suite would be available on the first floor. All they'd need to do was pack up and move downstairs.

Originally posted to the sidebar by "compaqdrew"...

As you may have noticed, there are now advertisements on The Daily WTF. Well, technically, I've been running ads here since October of 2004… but I just realized that I never bothered announcing it. So, there you have it dear readers: I have officially sold out.

"At my workplace, we have a wiki for the 'WLC' — the Worst Line Competition," Kirk writes. "We post lines of code that the lead developers have decided were good additions to the applications that we port. Here is one of the better ones:"

If there's one thing that the new development manager has, it's tenacity. Joshua has been maintaining his company's overly complex software for a while now, and found Dave's eagerness and dedication to learn admirable.

Are You Cool, Man? (from Scott) The interview I was conducting was going great — the candidate answered technical questions well and was honest when he didn't know the answer. I'd decided that he would make the short list for an offer and began wrapping up the interview.

"A while back," Steven Victor wrote, "I was asked to look at an issue where numerical data 'kept getting more and more inaccurate' in newer versions of a software product."

The year was 1999 and the dot-com boom was going full-throttle. Companies everywhere were focused on building revolutionary applications using nothing but top-shelf hardware and state-of-the-art software tools. Developers everywhere were trying to figure out if they should play more foosball, more air hockey, or sit back down on their Aeron and write more code. Everywhere, that is, except Boise, Idaho. Or at least, Dave's small corner of it.

A. T. registered early, saving a cool -$1,500.00.

Originally posted by "Da' Man"...

Ever since the first Free Sticker Week ended back in February '07, I've been sending out WTF Stickers to anyone that mailed me a SASE or a small Souvenir. Nothing specific, per the instructions page, "anything will do." Well, here goes anything, yet again! (previous: Random Assortment Transfer).

Firefox Deletes Printers! from Arthur

Allen F occasionally feels out of place. As a software developer in a large, scientific research lab, he's one of the few people not running around in a lab coat, mumbling about things like how to stabilize the latest batch of tretonin, or how only an idiot would name it isoprovalyn instead of hydrozapam. In fact, Allen doesn't even get to wear a lab coat.

Terry Solid writes, "I tried to do a direct debit in the amount of $0.00, but the eBay system told me I was an idiot and had to deposit a minimum of $1.00. To add insult to injury, it took a full twenty-five minutes of explanation before the eBay rep realized that there was, in fact, no way for one to transfer $0.00 to unhold my account

As a junior-level sysadmin at his university, Alcari had gotten used to frantic, middle-of-the-night support calls. Whether it was a mail proxy server freezing up, a replication process getting out of sync, or some application deadlocking, Alcari's solution was almost always the same: reboot the problem server. On a recent 4:00AM emergency call, however, the situation was a bit more dire.

Most of us web developers will never encounter an HTTP 414 Error. According to the W3C, 414 means:

Originally posted in the Sidebar, "AlpineR" shares this interesting story about Wizards of the Coast's Magic Online 3.0...

Good news, everyone. The official The Daily WTF mugs have finally arrived! Well, technically, the mugs have been sitting here in my office for months, but the intern who will mail them out has finally arrived! Either way, now's the time to get your own.

IBM Survivor (from Reid Maynard) In the middle of the dot-com bust, I interviewed at IBM for a contract position. I can't remember exactly what the position was, but I'll never forget the interview.

"While updating on some delightfully unorganized PHP code (no indentation at all, split over hundreds of randomly named files, many included dozens of times), I kept running across comparisons such as:

By the 1970's, computers were practically everywhere. They starred on TV, were the brains behind Cold War Doomsday devices, and had even reached “cliché” status in many science fiction circles. Of course, being that they cost upwards of $1,000 – per hour – the computers themselves weren’t everywhere, only their ominous presence. And nothing said “welcome to the computer era” quite like the ubiquitous punch card.

Nick L. was impressed by DO NOT USE's firey, inspired performance in 2 Fast 2 Furious...

It was the calm before the storm. Brokers were sitting at their desks in silence, watching the clock. The market was going to open in minutes, and huge volume orders would start pouring in. The developers working for the firm – a mid-size proprietary trading outfit on Wall Street – were already busy; an order from the previous day should’ve expired automatically, but didn’t. It was manually fixed moments after it was discovered.

Originally posted to the Sidebar by "ServZero"...

John B. saw some strange code that prompted him to investigate.